Mixed Emotions (Dear You Three)

Dear You Three,

"The friendships you make in college will be those that stay with you forever."

I have heard that saying many a time in the past  few years of my life, and up until now, it honestly really bothered me. I felt as though people were basically telling me that the friendships I had already made [in high school] were not good enough, that they were inadequate. But now I think I understand it a lot more; after being here at SU for the past month, I have met some really wonderful people whom I hope will stay in my life for many years to come. Everyone here is so easy to get along with, and I love that all of us want nothing more than to just chill with our friends and be happy and carefree. After all, isn't that the point of college?

But, despite all of that, I can't shake the feeling that I am losing the three most important relationships in my life, and those three are you. It's funny how at each stage in your life you get the feeling that "this is all I need to be happy, I have everyone in my life that I need." But then college happens, or moving happens, and then those people who you were completely happy with and used to having in your life are not there anymore. And that can hurt. A lot. Especially when, and I can say that I am partially responsible for this, not very many of us make an effort to really talk anymore. Or well, we do but it's not really in a way that one would like. Like, it's the occasional "Hello, how are you?" or, "Oh I'm doing really well," or "I miss you..." but you know that's never really enough. It scares me that I only talk to you three maybe three times a week now, if that, because I have had enough failed relationships to know that eventually three days a week will turn into two, then one, then five times a month, and so on. That REALLY scares me, because there was a point where you three were my rocks, and I couldn't live without you. I don't want to have to now.

I know that I haven't been the best communicator either, but you have to believe me when I say that I am trying. I am trying. I just want you to tell me the same, because I love you.

Long story short, sometimes I wish I could just go back to the way things used to be.

<3 <3

~Erin :)

Anatomy of a blog...and some pictures...

Okay so you know how when you keep a blog, you're supposed to keep it updated? Yeah I seem to be doing a good job of that, I think. But there always seems to come a point where I can't figure out what to write about anymore, and I have HIT THAT POINT! Gahhh. And it's been like what, 9-10 entries? Fail. It's just that I feel like I should have something suuuuper exciting to tell you all, but I literally have nothing. Or well, I have stuff, but it's mostly like "Hey! I went to school! I hung out with friends! I procrastinated and made up extravagant excuses not to go to the gym! Yayyy!"

So for now, I am just going to post pictures for your viewing pleasure.

:)

Nichole and myself.

Kelsey and me...this basically describes our relationship.

As does this...but better.

This was actually a really awkward picture to ask them to take...yeah.

Friends! Nichole, Haya, and Nick.

Arielle the roomie and Crew junkie, Kendra, and myself.

Laughter makes the world go 'round :)

Adventures on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Everyone should read My Immortal. Then this will make sense. Okay, not everyone, but everyone with an innapropriate sense of humor.......

Friends + mail = :)?

The end!

P.S. Stay hydrated.

~Erin :)

Reflection

So, as many of you know, our friend Ryan David Gann passed away last night, due to in part to a heart issue. It is apparent now that this sudden death has hit a lot of us really hard, myself included. Since last night, I have been doing a lot of thinking, both about Ryan, and just about life in general.

I have known Ryan since the 5th grade, and I remember him specifically from that year, because he was one of the few people who taught me how to play Bump, the game with the basketball, and a long line of people...and yeah gosh I don't even know, it has been so long. But it is just interesting for me to look back at that now; you see, in 5th grade I was the new kid, and I didn't have a lot of friends, which is actually the understatement of the year. I really didn't think about how big of a deal that was for me until now, him being there to teach me when I had no one else, so that I could feel welcome at least in one aspect of school. It's the little things people do for other people that matter the most. I didn't see Ryan again after that year until Freshman year of high school, where we would then both be in choir together for the next couple of years. Man, what a trooper. There were NOT a lot of boys in that choir, which is the OTHER understatement of the year, so yeah the guys kind of had to step up. Seriously. He always had such a happy attitude, and I loved talking to him, just about whatever. What a great guy. Anyway, the point of this blog was not to reminice, or to talk about me. Well, sort of to reminice, but yeah.

What I really wanted to say was, that if Ryan's death has taught me anything, it has taught me that life is short. It's really freaking short, and too short for some. This might sound corny and cliche and stupid, but I know now, that it's really important to tell those you love that you love them; that you love them with your whole heart, and never want to live without them. If someone has touched or changed your life in a positive way, tell them, and thank them! Take the time to say hi to an old friend you haven't seen for awhile, prioritize your life, live in the moment, be courageous, and "do one thing that scares you each day." Someone very important to me told me that not too long ago, and now I understand why, and I know that she was right.  Don't keep anyone in your life who tears you down, or who tells you that you can't be whoever you want to be. Be strong, be yourself, and love with your whole heart.

We will always miss and love you Ryan. You have touched lives, and I hope that, wherever you are now, you are happy, smiling, and free of any pain. And I hope you know how great of a person you were.

R.I.P

<3

Story time!

Okay, first of all I just want to make clear that this is the SECOND time I am writing this blog today. Thus meaning I originally wrote it around 3:00 this afternoon, but then my laptop decided that it wanted to be a jerk and errored right as I was trying to post, and then the ENTIRE thing erased. Yeah I was kind of pissed about it. Then I got busy and never had time to rewrite this until now, so here we are. I have Microsoft Word open now just in case I need to copy and save. Second of all, candy corn is addicting. Never buy an entire bag and then keep it in your desk drawer; it's just a really bad idea.

Random thought of the day: Have you ever noticed how dogs and their owners tend to look alike? I have heard people tell me this, but I never really thought much of it. But here at SU I see probably at least a dozen dogs and their owners out on the Union Green, and that allows a person to think a little on the subject. For example I saw a lady today with big-ish hair, and lo and behold, she had a poodle with big fur! And then last week there was a short guy with a Dachshund...it's really weird! Next time you go people watching you should seriously check this out.

Before I get started on anything else, I just want to say that yes I am aware that I am the worst blogger in the history of bad bloggers. I mean who tells at least a dozen people that they're going to keep a blog updated, and then not update for eight days?!? Oh yeah, me. Ugh. Life just gets sooo busy and then when I finally do get the time to blog I say "Ohh I'll just go do it later..." and then go hang out with a friend, or go to sleep, or attempt to work out, or whatever. Long story short, I will do better in the future!!

Anyway, on to actual matters of life. Like I said before, I have been BUSY. Seriously, check out my planner, if I haven't told you already, that is my evil little thing that tells me everything I have to do when and where I have to do it. It doesn't really let me sleep that much, so I'm starting to resent it just a little. I may burn it after the term ends, but lets not go there yet. Okay, yeah. the first thing I want to tell you guys is that as of last Monday afternoon, I am now a member of Seattle University University Chorale, AND Women's Chorale. This means that I no longer have two rehearsals per week, rather I have five to six! Women's Monday 12:15-1:20pm and Friday 4:00-5:05pm if I want to, and Chorale Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday 12:15-1:20pm. And then you know, there's the occasional evening rehearsal, or two hour sectional. For those of you who don't know, a sectional is where you meet with just your voice part, for me it's alto, and work for two hours on pieces, and sing a lottttt. haha. We had one last Wednesday night, it was actually pretty fun! So yeah a lot of my life is being devoted to singing now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Oh and before I forget, I'm also in SU's Chapel choir; we sing every Sunday morning at the 11:00 Mass. That's only a once weekly practice on Sunday mornings at 9, but yeah. Being in all of these groups is actually teaching me how to manage my time really well, which is good because if I manage my time well I tend to be less stressed. Our first concert is October 22nd at 8pm, and then the Christmas, yes Christmas, since we are a Catholic school, concert is December 5th at 8:00pm, and the 7th at 2:00pm. But I will talk more on that later :)

Hey, speaking of stress, remember that giant Humanities paper I told you about last week? Yeah, did that, turned it in, got it back today. I got a B. I'm not that disappointed, but then again I am. I mean I worked my ass off on that paper, and then got a B. That's so...I don't know, B. B for blech. Ah well. There was only one person in the class who got an A on it, and that person just so happens to be my friend Maria. Yeah she spent a good portion of the day before we turned it in all like "Ah I don't know what I'm going to do about this paper! ...I don't think I can finish! ...I don't know what to write..." Yeah I no longer listen to her ever about incapabilities, like ever. Never ever. Ever. (Maria if you are reading this, I am in no way taunting you, I am just having a good time in telling you that you are a genious and that you have no incapabilities, unlike the rest of us substandard human beings.) Pretty much the point of this essay was to write on our position on whether or not we think one should acheive a technical or liberal arts educaion. It's extremely tedious and boring, so I won't explain the entire thing, but yeah that was the jist of it. Oh! I should mention, Mrs. Alderman in case you are reading this, I used the article you did for "Ethos Magazine" of the University of Oregon, the one about the Texas school district textbook distribution, as my narration portion of the paper. I just like talked about how you mentioned you try to use more than just the State of Oregon assigned textbook to teach with, rather you try to help the students to keep an open mind and form their own perspectives by using other articles and what not for study materials. Yeah I was mulling around Facebook the other day and I saw Michael Sugar had told Joel about the article, so then, after going like OMG that's my teacher! I looked up the article, and realized I could use it to help my point on liberal arts education. Yay, you're famous! Here's a link to the article, just in case you either a. have not read it, or b. are not Mrs. Alderman and want to read it. I think it's pretty bad ass and I love it :) wooooot!

http://ethosmagonline.com/archives/6646

BUT, on the upside, we did take a test last Thursday over a horrendously tedious packet of essays written by various Philosophers that was all written short answer, and I GOT AN A. Yeahhh that was very exciting, I mean it WAS my first college test :).

Oh! And, hooray for family, two of my favorite aunts visited me last Friday! Yeah one of them, Patty, is an alum of the SU law school, so she had to come up from Olympia to take a class, and the other one, Lori, just came along for the ride, and in so doing visited me! Before aunt Patty got done with her class, aunt Lori and I wandered around a lot; I showed here where all of my classrooms were, and then she sat in on my afternoon Chorale rehearsal! Her review of it was: 1. She LOVES Doc. haha. 2. We are really good. and 3. We were too loud for her to handle towards the end. I think that's a good thing...haha. So good job guys! :) After aunt Patty got done with her class, we went down to Pike Place and wandered around for awhile, and then went to Ivar's, which is a seafood restaurant down by UW on the water. It was seriously the best thing I have tasted in a loooong time. GO EAT THERE. I'm not even kidding. If I were 800lbs, I would probably have that place to blame, but then again I doubt I ever would weigh that much because eventually my conscience, and my stomach, probably, would be like "Umm wtf are you doing to me?" haa. Anyway, I was really glad they came up; it's always nice to see familiar faces every now and again. Oh and aunt Patty, if you're reading this, thank you thank you so much for the $30! But thank you BOTH for coming to see me!!

Well people, I will have more to say at a more reasonable hour, most likely. Maybe you all will get lucky and I will blog tomorrow...hmm...

Byeeee!

~Erin :)

Being busy takes up a lot of time...seriously. So does procrastinating.

Hey again! Sorry I haven't been blogging very much, AGAIN. Fail. Oh well, such is life.

This past week has honestly been one big blurr. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, but still. This entire weekend was basically dedicated all to choir, and this giant paper I have due on Wednesday. But let's start with the positives, shall we. Yesterday was the choir retreat! Basically what that means is that Doc (Dr. Sherman, the director) reserves the entire Fine Arts building for the whole day, even though we only practice from 12:30PM to 5:30PM, and we learn everyyyyything we have to sing for parents weekend until we know it backwards and forwards. I would say that right now we know it backwards, but not quite forwards yet...

Now, singing for pretty much five hours straight may seem like a total pain in the butt, but honestly, it was soooo muchhhh funnnn! If I could stay in choir all day I'm almost positive that I would. We started the session off with a workshop with a guest conductor from Seattle. He was fantastic! He taught us a lot of different breathing exercises/techniqes, and then we did lung vaccums! Sheldon Varsity choir kids you all should know what those are! Gooooood times. Yeah. Anyway, after that we split into our vocal sections (I'm an alto) for fifteen minutes at a time and worked on our parts, and then came back out to work as a group. You'd actually be surprised at the bonding one can get with their section after spending five hours with them in one day. By the end of the day we pretty much mastered Regina Coeli...Gloria on the other hand, well she still needs a little bit of help. The men's choir on the other hand, was INCREDIBLE. I would let them serenade me to sleep any night...I can't remember the exact name of their song right now, but I know it's definitely not in English. There's a shocker! Anyway, I am really excited for this year in choir, and feel so incredibly blessed to be a part of the SU Women's Chorale. Yay!

Welllll...aside from getting carpel tunnel from typing an annoyingly long Humanities essay, today was a pretty good day as well. Around one, I walked down to Pike Place Market with Nichole, Kate, and Vishakha, where we met Alli and Aja, and wandered around for awhile.

Kate ended up buying like 340458349 honey sticks (seriously SO GOOD. If you ever go to Pike Place, GET THEM) and then we saw the gum wall again, and again ew?, and then had lunch at a Mediterranean food place near the market. It was a good mini-adventure I would say. Oh yeah, and I should mention that it took us like 40 minutes to find the right bus to get back to school. Yeah, we wanted to avoid having to walk up the 27 bajillion hills of Seattle, so we decided to catch the bus. But what actually happened was, on our way to finding the right bus, we ended up walking up 26 bajillion hills; the bus only took us up one bajillion. Blarg.

Well, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I am reeeeally tired and I have a German quiz tomorrow I still need to review for. Yayyy for procrastination! Oh! I should add that to the title. There, done. I hope that brings whoever is reading this some sort of enjoyment. Alrighty, byeeee!

~Erin :)